|
|
|
Christian Behavior With a word of direction to all backsliders. By J O H N.B U N Y A N. 1674. Written in 1663, while imprisoned in Bedford Prison. This was John Bunyan's third book during his first incarceration. |
DUTY IN RELATION TO THE WIFE.
ast thou a wife? Thou must consider how thou oughtest to behave
thyself under that relation: and to do this aright, thou must consider the condition
of thy wife, whether she be one that indeed believeth or not. First, If she believeth,
then,
1. Thou art engaged to bless God for her: 'For her price is far above rubies, and
she is the gift of God unto thee, and is for thy adorning and glory' (Prov 12:4;
31:10; 1 Cor 11:7). 'Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth
the Lord, she shall be praised' (Prov 31:30).
2. Thou oughtest to love her, under a double consideration: (1.) As she is thy flesh
and thy bone: 'For no man ever yet hated his own flesh' (Eph 5:29). (2.) As she is
together with thee an heir of the grace of life (1 Peter 3:7). This, I say, should
engage thee to love her with Christian love; to love her, as believing you both are
dearly beloved of God and the Lord Jesus Christ, and as those that must be together
with him in eternal happiness.
3. Thou oughtest so to carry thyself to and before her, as doth Christ to and before
his church; as saith the apostle: So ought men to love their wives, 'even as Christ
loved the church, and gave himself for it' (Eph 5:25). When husbands behave themselves
like husbands indeed, then will they be not only husbands, but such an ordinance
of God to the wife, as will preach to her the carriage of Christ to his spouse. There
is a sweet scent wrapped up in the relations of husbands and wives, that believe
(Eph 4:32); the wife, I say, signifying the church, and the husband the head and
saviour thereof, 'For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the
head of the church' (Eph 5:23). and he is the Saviour of the body.
This is one of God's chief ends in instituting marriage, that Christ and his church,
under a figure, might be wherever there is a couple that believe through grace. Wherefore
that husband that carrieth it undiscreetly towards his wife, he doth not only behave
himself contrary to the rule, but also maketh his wife lose the benefit of such an
ordinance, and crosseth the mystery of his relation.
Therefore, I say, 'So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that
loveth his wife, loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth
and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:' (Eph 5: 8, 29). Christ laid out
his life for his church, covereth her infirmities, communicates to her his wisdom,
protecteth her, and helpeth her in her employments in this world; and so ought men
to do for their wives. Solomon and Pharaoh's daughter had the art of thus doing,
as you may see in the book of Canticles. Wherefore bear with their weaknesses, help
their infirmities, and honour them as the weaker vessels, and as being of a frailer
constitution (1 Peter 3:7).
In a word, be such a husband to thy believing wife, that she may say, God hath not
only given me a husband, but such a husband as preacheth to me every day the carriage
of Christ to his church.
Second, If thy wife be unbelieving or carnal, then thou hast also a duty lying before
thee, which thou art engaged to perform under a double engagement: 1. For that she
lieth liable every moment to eternal damnation. 2. That she is thy wife that is in
this evil case.
Oh! how little sense of the worth of souls is there in the heart of some husbands;
as is manifest by their unchristian carriage to and before their wives! Now, to qualify
thee for a carriage suitable,
1. Labour seriously after a sense of her miserable state, that thy bowels may yearn
towards her soul.
2. Beware that she take no occasion from any unseemly carriage of thine, to proceed
in evil. And here thou hast need to double thy diligence, for she lieth in thy bosom,
and therefore is capable of espying the least miscarriage in thee.
3. If she behave herself unseemly and unruly, as she is subject to do, being Christless
and graceless, then labour thou to overcome her evil with thy goodness, her forwardness
with thy patience and meekness. It is a shame for thee, who hast another principle,
to do as she.
4. Take fit opportunities to convince her. Observe her disposition, and when she
is most likely to bear, then speak to her very heart.
5. When thou speakest, speak to purpose. It is no matter for many words, provided
they be pertinent. Job in a few words answers his wife, and takes her off from her
foolish talking: 'Thou speakest,' saith he, 'as one of the foolish women. What? shall
we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil?' (Job 2:10).
6. Let all be done without rancour, or the least appearance of anger: 'In meekness
instructing those that oppose themselves, if peradventure they may recover themselves
out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will' (2 Tim 2:25,
26). 'And how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife' (1 Cor 7:16).
|
 |
|
|
