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In truth, Charlie would not have felt her father was so foolish if
his testimony hadn't struck a common chord within her heart. At times, she too felt
as though she were drowning. But, these were weak moments. Ever since Chuck's sudden
decision to send her away to North Carolina, Charlie's spirit began to harden: she
scolded herself for fainting in the airplane the night of her departure; she was
angry for allowing Aunt Angela's lack of love, to hurt her; when Sherri teased her,
Charlie rebuked herself for the tears she cried in her cousin's presence. With every
injustice and indignity, Charlie's spirit toughened. Then there was Darren's ugly
death. If she hadn't disobeyed Aunt Angela, he would still be alive! She could still
see it all as though it had happened yesterday. She could see Darren's writhing body,
covered in vomit, twitching and convulsing; she could hear the traffic and see the
headlights; she could feel the panic welling up inside. Charlie bit her tongue to
get her mind off of the terrible image.
"Great peace have they which love Thy law," continued Chuck, unaware of
the fact that his daughter had not been listening to him as he poured forth his soul.
After wincing in pain, Charlie could taste blood in her mouth. She had bitten her
tongue too hard.
"Daddy," Charlie interrupted, "have you taken your pill this morning?"
Charlie was determined not to let her father's weakness undermine her own strength.
"What?" asked Chuck, surprised that Charlie should think of medicine at
a time when, he hoped, she was thinking of her soul.
"Your medicine," repeated Charlie, "did you take it?"
"What does that possibly have to do with your salvation?" asked Chuck.
"I don't think you're feeling very well, Daddy."
"Anything I'm feeling right now isn't because I forgot to take my medicine!"
exclaimed Chuck, fighting back frustration.
"Then you did forget," said Charlie, in a vindicated tone. Chuck fell back
in his chair and set the Bible down beside him.
"I'll go get your pill," said Charlie, going to the kitchen and quickly
returning with his medication. Chuck obediently swallowed the pill and looked sadly
at his only child.
"Oh, Charlie," he sighed, "it's all my fault. I should have raised
you right."
"It's O.K., Daddy. I'm fine."
"Are you?" questioned Chuck. "I don't have very much time left to
make things right for you. Everyday, I can feel my body changing. I never thought
it would move this quickly, but it is."
"Dr. Gillis said you would have years yet, Daddy. Don't over-dramatize."
"I used to be able to dress, shave, and put on my shoes in under fifteen minutes,"
continued Chuck. "Now it takes me an half hour."
"An half hour's not so bad," reasoned Charlie.
"But, it's taking longer each day. How long will it be before I can't dress
and shave myself at all? How long before I won't even recognize my own little girl?"
"Don't say that, Daddy!"
"I have to say it, Charlie. It's the truth. I have to face this and so do you.
Our time is short. That's why your salvation is so important! I know how stubborn
you can be! If I don't try to act now while I can-- while I still have some measure
of influence over you, then I will have failed both you and God."
Charlie was still. She could hear the steady tick of the grandfather clock standing
by the front door; she could smell the acrid odor of the greasy bacon Vera had fixed
them for breakfast, clinging to the air like indigestion following a heavy meal;
she focused her eyes on the dark brown carpet and wondered if it was a StainMaster
like the one at Aunt Angela and Uncle Mark's house. She imagined herself pouring
all sorts of messy ingredients on the carpet and wondered if they would really clean
up without leaving a stain. She tried in every way to get her mind off of what Chuck
had just said. A part of her refused to believe that things truly were as black as
her father painted. This was absurd! This couldn't possibly be her life! She must
be dreaming... she had to be. Charlie stood up and turned to go.
"Pumpkin?" called Chuck. "You will think about what I've said?"
"Sure," replied Charlie, walking back to her room. |
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